FAS/FAE, Neurotoxicity, and other fun things

I've got to be honest in saying that yesterday's news on Kendi really threw me for a loop. It hit me on many different levels. First, there was sadness for her. Then there was fear of what all of this could mean to her future. And what could it do to our plans to adopt her? Does it make a difference?

I spent the majority of last night looking up information on Fetal Alcohol Syndrom and Fetal Alcohol Effects; DDT poisening, and neurotoxicity. I am certainly still no expert on these things.

The DDT poisening. Yes, the chemical insecticide. It makes sense because the area of Ghana where Kendi is from is highly agricultural. Also, DDT (I learned) is the agent used in up to 1/3 of all suicides in Asia. It's a common thing to use for suicide.

From everything I found last night, it seems that she is probably okay from the DDT--or at least not suffering from the most severe effects. She isn't having seizures, isn't uncoordinated, and doesn't have excessive GI problems. Neurotoxicity is a concern, but one that I cannnot rule in or out. Neurotoxicity can cause the same sorts of ADHD-like symptoms as FAS/FAE. All in all, I think she must of somehow been spared from the effects of the DDT. Maybe the mother had her stomach pumped before it hit her blood stream????

The alcohol is much more of a concern for me. I can say without hesitation that for us it is much more difficult to parent a child with behavioral issues than it is to parent a child with medical issues. The possible FAS/FAE is a much bigger deal to us than HIV. It's just one of those special needs that I never would have chosen for my child.

I studied Kendi's pictures for a long time last night. I just don't think her facial features are in line with the facial features usually seen in kids with FAS. Short upturned nose? Yes. But very thin top lip? Smooth surface between top lip and nose? Small eyes? Underdeveloped ears? Low nose bridge? I don't see it. If one of you do PLEASE let me know. Maybe I am seeing her face through rose-colored glasses, but I just see a very cute normal looking face.

If she doesn't have FAS, FAE is still a definite possibility. FAE doesn't come with any physical abnormalities. You can't see it. And the symptoms don't fully reveal themselves for many years. Hyperactivity, learning difficulties, social difficulties, etc.. Having met and spent time with Mabel, I don't have any red flags for behavioral issues at this point. She seemed like a typically developing child. She was behind--for sure--but catching up. Just in the week I was with her she learned to wave bye-bye, blow kisses, and say "bye-bye." To me, that doesn't seem like a child who is cognitively impaired. Of course, there are still YEARS to come before we know how she might have been adversely affected.

Chances are, she is going to have SOME effect from the alcohol. But how much we have no way of knowing. We just. don't. know.

If we had gotten this news about a child that I had only seen a picture of, it would have been much more difficult to move forward. Seriously--FAS/FAE scares me to death. It may have been enough to stop this adoption (unless the Lord spoke clearly abut us continuing on). But that's not what happened. We got this information about a child I have played with, and cuddled, and taught. I know this child. So even though my brain says "RUN!" my heart says, "It's going to be okay."

Maybe it won't be as okay as we had hoped it would. Maybe Kendi Mabel is going to have challenges in addition to the HIV. But really....how do we know that ALL of our children haven't been exposed to alcohol before birth? We don't have any information about their mother's pregnancies. We have no idea what they went through to be born. Their risks could have been the same as, if not greater than, Kendi Mabel's.

So...we're moving forward. I thought Eric might be thrown for a loop by this, but he wasn't. He just said, "Well, it's something we'll need to keep an eye on." and that was it. No talk of not going foward. I guess we both feel like we can't just throw this child away because of a chance, an exposure. Maybe things would be different if she had a sure diagnosis of something. But she doesn't. We serve a mighty God that we have SEEN heal our children before. He can do it again.