The Day After

I wouldn't say that God has changed my heart about wanting to adopt Mabel. But I would say he has given me peace about submitting to Eric about it.

Today is a really nice day here in OK. The sun is shining and the temps are warm. It feels "new" today. No big looming questions over what will come next in our lives. I feel a big need to just enjoy my kids and husband--to concentrate on what I do have, rather than what I don't have. And I have a lot.

Eric and I talked this morning about what we can learn from this experience. This was not all for nothing. And you know what? Most of his fears in going forward with Mabel's adoption would have been taken away if we were to adopt through the foster care system. There would be no worries about if he lost his job and couldn't provide insurance for an HIV+ child. The state provides that if the child is adopted through foster care. There would be no cost for the adoption itself. And even any worries about being able to provide for an extra mouth at the table are erased, because almost all children through foster adoption come with monthly subsidies to offset their care cost until they are 18. Some states even provide college tuition for in state universities!

So maybe what we have learned through this is the type of adoption that might be best if/when we decide to adopt again. International adoption is what I know. Foster adoption might be a better "fit." But in the end I guess we'll wait and see what the Lord says "the next time."